There is a demon that lives in my head. She is rude, perennially indignant and has a lot of scars. She is also friendless and loveless. She and I have a sort of truce wherein she stays in her dedicated room in my mind and I carry on with life as if all is well. However, there are times when my emotions get a bit much and she tries to poke her demonic head out.
The more I try to suppress my demon in a box and put it away in the darkroom, the more she tries to crawl her tentacles out of the box one by one. That one time I tried to tape the box and sit on it so that the demon does slither out unknowingly; the box broke and the black demon of negativity and cruelty came out spilling the entire mind. The demon, I call Sabrina, brought with her darkness so dark and black that even a sliver of light was fearful to enter.
That is the story of Sohini and Sabrina, living in the same head, enduring life.
To the world, I pretended to be only Sohini, because Sabrina is my demon and I do not wish to share her with anyone else. Am I jealous of sharing my darkness with anyone? Maybe so; what if Sabrina becomes someone else’s and my darkroom becomes empty. It would be filled with nothingness… no light… no darkness… just pure vacuum of nothingness.
Most days Sabrina sleeps quietly in the darkroom, peeping out once or twice crooning ideas of destruction and horror, but mostly she is reticent. But I never know when she decides to wake up and go full throttle on the driver’s seat of my mind and create havoc.
Today, I was minding my own business and doing my work, when she woke up. She yawns and stretches herself and I can feel the shift in my head.
Let’s hope it’s not a bad day today…