Rakhshabandhan is just around the corner and I read this fabulous piece by Rituparna Chatterjee (@MasalaBai – Twitter) where Chilkur Balaji temple started a ‘Rakhi Challenge’ wherein young boys are invited to bring at least one new girl to tie a Rakhi and accept her as their sister for life. This is done with the belief that a brotherly bond will reduce their naughty instincts and women will be secured.
While this is done with great intentions, however the idea of tying Rakhi to random people to ensure own safety is pretty much ludicrous. Have the men of our country become so out of control that only a brotherly bond will curb their instincts and nothing else? Does basic humanity and etiquette have no value anymore?
While my questions may infuriate many men (as it should), the flipside of the point remains that women are unsafe! Whether the big-wigs of our political agree with that or not does not matter, because we know we are not safe.
Today when my cab came to pick me up, there was another man sitting beside the driver, who very apologetically stated that this is his cousin who is new in town, so he is showing the dude around. That was that. However, I chose to remain extremely alert the entire way because I was not comfortable with the situation, thanks to all the horror stories I’ve heard and read on various social platforms.
I would categorize the above situation not good. Why should I have to be uncomfortable if there are 2 men sharing my cab? Why should I have to hold my bag in front of me when I am walking in a crowded place? Do I, as a woman, have no right to safety? Do I not have a right to walk freely without having to cover my breasts with a bag so that people do not touch them? And mostly, why do I have to tie Rakhi to random men so that they do not harbour ill feelings towards me?
I am most definitely not trying to demean the importance of brothers. I have them too and I love them to bits. However, that does not mean they are my protectors.
Without mincing my words further, I’d like to say, men should grow a pair and keep their libido in control even without the thread of Rakhi.
PS: men who have already grown a pair and are decent to women…. thank you for being the man you are!
Rakhi is a sacred thing. Should not be cheapened out, with practices like this. I don’t have any sisters of my own. But my friend’s elder sister ties Rakhi on my hand every year and I would literally give my life to protect her, that kind of bond doesn’t form overnight with just a Rakhi. It’s an emotional connection and depends upon a man’s character. The biggest problem of women’s safety, starts with our homes, where women are treated as inferior, where boys are taught from childhood that they are the future, that they will guide the family in the time to come, that they are the “karta”. Another peculiar problem is, when mothers tell their sons,”ye ladki aise kapde pehni hai, ye achi ladki nahi hai.” I mean wow, you being a woman, judge another woman by her choice of cloths, I have heard my friend’s family saying, we would “allow” our would be daughter in law to wear salwar instead of a sari.
Point of this rant is, untill this fudal mindset of our people change, no woman will ever be safe in this country.
Agreed 100%
Even in my school, when we first became teens there were a couple of girls who brought rakhis to class and tied it to over half the boys in class. I had a strong suspicion their parents made them do it and the girls seemed very enthusiastic about it. Brain-washed, of course about the holier than thou act of the whole thing. Even at that young age, when I had never read or heard anything against this tradition, my mind just balked at the entire thing that was happening in front of my eyes. I came home and told my mother that it seems these girls and their parents think, tying rakhis would prevent the boys from seeing their daughters in any light other than a sister. The whole thing seemed so forced and weird. It still makes me angry when I think about it.
The whole thing seems like a ploy to bind women into submission. You have a brother or cousins… by all means tie Rakhi and enjoy the festival. But tying Rakhi to protect self from goons seems like a bit much tho…