Longings Of ‘Home’

This piece is about wistfulness. Reminiscing has always being a matter of mixed feelings for me especially the 90s. Between 1990 and 1999 I finished my school was right in the middle of my graduation. Even though Mumbai has been my home since 2001, the sting of the proverbial homesickness is there whenever I remember those days.

My semi-Goth-phase

This is where I hope from the bottom of my heart that H G Wells actually made the Time Machine and not just wrote about it, because I want to go back “home” when everything was well and Mum was young and my grandparents were alive and well.

However, let me point it out to you that NOT all memories were hunky dory of those times. In case, I do ever get my hands on the said machine, I would like to go back to those 3 moments where I would like to slap the cheeks off my face.

I don’t have many regrets of my life but 4 to be precise and I am afraid none of them can be forgiven.  They make me sad, cause me nightmares but they have made me who I am today so I accept them as they are, along with my good memories.

Why am I talking about reminiscence today?

Well… while I was travelling to work today, I was listening to Mirchi 90, the internet radio station, when the channel ad noted down things that the 90’s were famous for. With Udit Narayan and Alka Yagnik crooning romantic duet in the background I was transported to major nostalgia and reliving those days of the 90’s.

Like the ad said, audio cassettes and mixed tapes were an integral part of my life. I have spent hours making mixed tapes and procuring audio cassettes. Music was important! Whether I was happy, sad, tensed, disheartened or just feeling Meh… music was always there. Of course, lots of blank calls were made to my then crush, without considering the fact that may be… just may be they had caller ID on their phones. Naïve little soul was I!

Other thing I remembered was sharing Mills and Boons, Sidney Sheldons, Jeffery Archers with friends. As a norm, one book borrowed from the library would be read by 4 people and only then returned. TV was really good back then too like MTV, Channel V, Cartoon Network. My first fully comprehended English song was Cats in the cradle (Ugly Kid Joe) thanks to MTV.

Memories are never ending. It is like a flood gate that opens up once you let your guard down. And the same happened to me. So many other memories kept flooding in. My on-the-job training days of Delhi, my virgin moments with alcohol, birthday celebrations at friends’s places during our respective birthdays and so many more. may be I shall dedicate a blog post for each of those memories.

The memories had decided to run me over with their jet speed when my auto driver said in a crackling voice… “Maidum…. Aa gaya aapka ophis” (madam you have arrived at your office)… like a sudden appearance of a black hole, memories get packed up at the back of my brain; I pick up my bag and umbrella, and start my day… Sigh!!!!


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